Confessions of a Goose-Puncher

Everyone loses their cool sometimes. In an op-ed in The Onion, CEO David Yarnold owns up to losing his (just the one time).

It’s not something he’s proud of, but today, our CEO and president David Yarnold came out with it: One time, he punched a goose right out of the air.* 

"I’ve spent my whole adult life promoting species diversity and protecting birds. In my current capacity as president and CEO of the Audubon Society, I work tirelessly to raise awareness of the habitat destruction that threatens these incredible, beautiful creatures. I love birds. I love all birds. But I’m not going to pretend this incident in my past didn’t happen, and I’m not going to try to defend my actions, either. Yes, I did it—I’m not proud of it, but I did it:

One time, a couple years ago, I punched a goose. Punched it right out of the air.”

Go read the whole thing at The Onion

*Disclaimer: This is (obviously) a joke. Unlike that time Audubon got into a Twitter fight with Barack Obama. That was definitely real.