The voice of Randall—the narrator of the hilarious viral video “The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger”—is in my head. It’s fitting, since I’m reading his new book Honey Badger Don’t Care, which features the fearless honey badger and 10 additional “nastyass” animals. Some you’ll know—the Tasmanian devil (see video below), the opposum; some sound like the sort of thing Randall would make up—like the pink fairy armadillo. If you’ve seen the video, you’ll know to expect profanities (fair warning!) and irreverence in the book, but it’s also surprisingly informative and highlights a fascinating mix of creatures that are largely threatened or endangered.
And the colorful descriptions are, of course, memorable. Take the adorable tarsier (litty crazyface, in Randall-speak). Attempts to domesticate these “sappy funmuffins” will often “end horribly in suicide*,” we learn. They may be cute, but they’re hardcore carnivores that eat lizards, snakes, moths, beetles, insects, and (sorry Auduboners) birds. “And they really eat all of the bird—feathers, beak, even its f***ing feet!” The conservation angle is refreshingly non-preachy:
|I think the tarsier could kick anyone’s ass in a staring contest, what do you think? Again, of the eight amazing subspecies of tarsier, a few are presently endangered and others are threatened. Captivity as an option is hard because of their sensitivity to drastic change. Whether Western, Filipino, or Eastern, there’s no doubt about it, stupid, these little crazyfaces are in need of some serious protection to continue to exist.|
Even if you haven’t yet watched the video above, you’ve probably gleaned by now that while this looks like a kids’ book, it is not. Parents (and those sensitive to vulgarity) should be advised: The four-letter words start on page one.
*I had to fact-check the suicide claim. This site supports it, and, according to The Princeton Encyclopedia of Mammals, “Some people have tried to keep the animals as pets, but in the absence of appropriate live food, they usually die within days.” Poor sappy funmuffins.
In addition to bookstores, the concept may soon be coming to TV, Time reports.
In the meantime, you'll just have to settle for another video from Randall. This one is about Satan's best friend (you know, the Tasmanian devil).